December, 1989 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

Page 5

PRYSM members talk about teen suicide

by Faith Klasek

In the past few years the increasing incidence of teen suicide has been given much media attention. Unfortunately, according to some estimates, gay and lesbian youth are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide than other young people. Many young gays and lesbians don't know anyone who shares their orientation and are almost completely without positive role models.

Members of Cleveland's PRYSM (Presence and Respect for Youth in Sexual Minority) youth group are some of the more fortunate of our young gay population, having found others like themselves. Most are gay-identified and have formed a strong link to the community. Several of them took the time to share their experiences and opinions on teen suicide.

Presence & Respect

PRYSM

for Youth in

group he is now a part of. For him finding the gay community was the hardest part of his coming out process.

Doug's advice to a young person just coming out? "I'd first make sure that they really thought they were gay. A lot of kids are experimenting and they're not sure." Doug suggests that gay youth and those who are unsure about their sexuality remember, "There's a lot of people out there. You're not the only one. A lot of them are hiding too. Probably your best friend or something. You don't know it but they are there."

Sexual Minority

Doug is 20 years old and knew he was gay by the time he was 12. He explained that the stress of coming out can be excruciating. A lot of kids get kicked out of their homes, and face rejection by their peers. Several of Doug's friends, ages 15 and over, have attempted suicide. When asked if these friends had any support network for their sexual orientation he responded, "No. That was the problem. Most kids-they're in high school and they're not out, so there really is no role model no one to look to."

Doug had very few role models when he was in high school. His lover was the only other gay person he knew. "My other friends, I basically thought they were straight. It wasn't till recently that I found out that some of them were gay." Doug feels that a few years ago he could have benefitted greatly from the youth

Gay groups educate Congress on gay youth

A coalition of leading gay and lesbian civil rights groups and education organizations presented a special Senate and House staff briefing in September on the importance of providing students with positive information and counseling concerning their sexual identity.

The briefing comes in response to attacks in Congress against programs that educate and counsel youth on sexual identity, and to a recent Health and Human Services report that revealed gay and lesbian teenagers are significantly more likely to attempt suicide than other youth. [See related article.]

Twenty-one year old Bob has known he was gay "forever." He began to really come to terms with his sexuality at 19.

When asked if he contemplated suicide when he first realized he was gay Bob responded, "Yes I did. But I don't know if I would say it was directly related to being gay. I think it was partially that, and a lot of other problems-personal problems and family problems."

Speakers at the briefing included Virginia Uribe, founder of Project 10, an innovative Los Angeles School District program that provides counselors, teachers, and students with accurate information and counseling on issues of sexual identity; and Ann Thompson Cook, director of INSITE, the Institute of Sexual Inclusiveness Through Training and Education, an organization that provides comprehensive information about sexuality and health for youth and people who work with young adults.

What brought him out of his desperate state was, "I started to find more self respect. I started to realize that I wasn't alone in the world. Not just being gay but the way I feel about a lot of things in the world."

Developing this self respect can be difficult, and finding role models almost impossible. Bob explained, “I think youth groups are very important very helpful. But even before they [gay youth] come to the youth group they've got to be reinforced in the media, in schools, through education, through outreach programs by groups like PRYSM, just to give them positive role models that we all need."

Also speaking at the briefing were Daniel and Susan Cohen, co-authors of many teen books, including the awardwinning What You Can Believe About Drugs and When Someone You Know Is Gay. The latter is sometimes referred to as the "bible" for responding in a positive

Bob's advice to other young gays and lesbians? "Well obviously I'd tell them to come to PRYSM to meet other people who have been where they've been-to show them it's [being gay] not a negative thing. It's a very positive thing. It's a part of life-to be able to express who you are and express your love for someone else. It's a beautiful thing and everyone should understand that"

Nicky got involved in her first lesbian relationship when she was 14 years old. She's 18 now and an active member of PRYSM. By the time she was 16 she had

manner to gay people in the process of coming out.

Gay and youth advocates realized the need for a greater awareness of gay and lesbian youth issues when, during last year's debate on the Labor, Health & Human Services appropriations bill, Sen. Gordon Humphrey, R-N.H. offered an extremely anti-gay amendment aimed at students.

The amendment, killed in conference committee, attempted to ban funding for school districts when materials, curricula, or programs "promote or encourage homosexuality" or use words stating that homosexuality is "normal, natural, or healthy."

attempted suicide.

Her suicide attempt was shortly after her freshman year of high school. She had just transferred from a Catholic school to a public one. She missed her old friends and hadn't yet formed many new friendships. Although Nicky was becoming strongly lesbian-identified, her girlfriend at the time considered herself straight. She knew no other gay or lesbian people at the time.

This year, Rep. William Dannemeyer, R-Calif, attacked Project 10 and attempted to offer an amendment similar to Humphrey's. Activists expect this issue to arise again when the Senate debates the new appropriations bill.

Briefing presenters stated that positive information to gay and lesbian youth is extremely important because:

gay teenagers are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide (HHS Report of the Secretary's Task Force on Youth Suicide, 1989);

one in four gay male teenagers is forced prematurely out of his home due to issues surrounding his sexual orientation (Male Homosexuality: The Adolescent's Perspective, Ramafedi);

G.

In addition to feeling alone, Nicky was experiencing a lot of conflict between her religion and sexual orientation. She was very involved in her religion, and very aware of its objections to her sexuality. "Of course I was a Catholic, so I felt guilty for being born. We were taught a lot of strange definitions for things. Everything was a sin."

Besides feeling loneliness at school and a separation from her church, Nicky was unable to get the parental support she needed. "My parents are very homophobic. They're just biased in general. So they hate blacks, and they hate Jewish people, and they hate homosexuals." After her suicide attempt her parents sent her to "a really strange psychologist." He refused to recognize her sexual orientation as a valid concern. Dismissing her lesbianism as a phase, he continued to probe for some deeper problem he had overlooked.

many gay youth turn to substance abuse or become homeless, often subjecting themselves to greater risk of contracting AIDS; and

⚫ without proper education and counseling, heterosexual students receive misinformation concerning sexual identity that may lead to verbal or Continued on Page 18

For a long time Nicky had no role models. She thought that all gays lived in a very separate society, and that no one she knew could possibly be gay. During a relationship she was involved in during high school, however, she was introduced to teachers and other faculty members at school who were lesbian. She found that they were very supportive. Soon after she was introduced to a larger segment of the gay community, and later found PRYSM.

When asked what advice she had for young people just coming out she responded that, "they should take some time to consider whether they really are gay." And, they should be sure to get some sort of support group. She wants young people to know, "There's a lot of other people out there. There are a lot of youth."

Nathan is 18 years old. He's known about his sexual orientation since he was about 15.

When asked if he contemplated suicide when he first came out he said, "Not really at the beginning. At the beginning I was pretty comfortable with it myself. It was just finding out information about being gay that was difficult, because I didn't really have any friends who were open about it until later when I came out to them." Nathan handled coming out fairly well. "The time I started having problems was trying to find someone trying to get into a relationship."

Nathan's life, however, has not gone untouched by the teen suicide issue. "My best friend since fourth grade is also gay. He's had the worst time I have ever seen. He's tried to commit suicide, I know of about seven times." But Nathan has been a supportive force in his friend's life. “Me being gay and being his best friend really helped him out.”

Did Nathan have any role models? "Really, no. I never really looked for role models myself. My role models were my friends." Throughout the most difficult times of dealing with his sexuality Nathan has kept a positive attitude. “My view of it [being gay] was that it was going to make me a better person. I know I'm going to have a lot of struggles because of me being gay, throughout the rest of my life, because I don't think there's going to be a time when it's going to be open. So, I expect a lot of barriers put up in my way for it. And I just look at it as it's going to make me a stronger and better person in the end."

Nathan's advice to a young person in agony over their sexuality is, "Just take it little by little. You don't have to understand everything in a day, or a week. My view on it is that there are no answers to the questions I'd like to ask about being gay. That's the answer, there are no answers." He wants young people to know, "Being gay is not the end of the world. If anything it's just the beginning."

Federal suicide report bashed

Dr. Louis Sullivan, secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), has sided with the anti-gay forces of Rep. William Dannemeyer, RCalif., on the recently released HHS Youth Suicide Report, saying portions of the report dealing with gay youth run "contrary" to the aim of "advancing traditional family values."

The response from Sullivan stunned gay rights activists who say the study has been widely praised for its fair and factual analysis of the growing problem of youth suicide, especially gay and lesbian suicide.

The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) has called for a meeting with Sullivan and has sharply criticized the chief for his "alarmingly insensitive and frightening statements regarding gay and lesbian suicide."

Sullivan, named head of HHS by President Bush, was responding to a request from Rep. Dannemeyer on where the Secretary stood on the study, titled the Report of the Health and Human Services Secretary's Task Force on Youth Suicide. Dannemeyer has severely criticized the report and has claimed the gay community is using it to advance a "homosexual political agenda."

The conservative Congressman has charged that inquiry and public education programs concerning lesbian and gay youth, such as the Los Angeles school district's Project 10, "simply add legitimacy to the heretofore crime of child molestation."

The 110-page, pathfinding report analyzes and makes recommendations for stemming the increasing rate of teen suicides in the U.S. The study has a sec-

tion on gay and lesbian suicide, reporting that "gay youth face a hostile and condemning environment, verbal and physical abuse, and rejection and isolation from families and peers."

Lesbian and gay young people who take their own lives account for 30 percent or more of all U.S. suicides, according to San Francisco psychotherapist Paul Gibson. His study is one of two about gays in the paper, released in early September.

In his written response to Dannemeyer, Sullivan states that "the views expressed in the paper entitled 'Gay Male and Lesbian Youth Suicide' do not in any way represent my personal beliefs or the policy of this Department."

"I am strongly committed to advancing traditional family values,” says Sullivan. "Federal policies must be crafted with great care so as to strengthen rather than undermine the institution of the family. In my opinion, the views expressed in the paper run contrary to that aim."

In a sharply worded letter to Sullivan, NGLTF Executive Director Urvashi Vaid strongly rebuked him. "We believe strong family values have traditionally meant the nurturing, affirmation, protection and understanding of young people, not their alienation and stigmatization," said Vaid to Sullivan. "We believe, as we hope you do, that suicide and violence are not family values."

Vaid went on to criticize Sullivan for "politically validating" the anti-gay accusations of Rep. Dannemeyer. She urged that the report "not be politicized." Continued on Page 18